I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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