Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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