Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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