and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
