dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
