Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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