you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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