respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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