P.S. I can't hear my feet
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
