I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
