Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
