Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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