i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
