Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
