Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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