So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
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soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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