How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize