We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
