your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Terrible idea I love it
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
