So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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