I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize