i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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