he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
