But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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