He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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