kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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