I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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