I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
FUCK WHALES
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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