Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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