i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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