Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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