Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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