I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
