Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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