well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
