How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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