I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
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Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
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I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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