i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
it's like iHOP with fire
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
