even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
