he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
