shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
soo... how was my night?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
