Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
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His hands were made for my vagina.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
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did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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