GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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