I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
