Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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