oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
