My first STD was from a foam party
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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