He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
