Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
