Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
