And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
