dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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