Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
