and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
