that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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