well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
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