My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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