and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
