If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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